Nurture

 The nurture principle was another NEPEM principle I learned a great deal during the semester. What is the definition of nurturing? There are three definitions of nurture in the Merriam-Webster dictionary: (1) "to provide with nourishment," (2) "to educate," and (3) "to promote the growth of: foster." With these criteria in mind, it appears that nurturing is a highly "parental" act. With the added strains of daily life, it can be easy to shift from caring for our children to being abrupt.

When I was learning about nurture, I primarily learned the how and the what of nurturing infants. So, first, I will discuss the how then the what of nurturing.

The Art of Nurturing

Past and current leaders of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints have given much advice on fostering.

 

Parents should use loving words and acts to subdue their child's "uneducated natures a great lot better than the rod," Brigham Young, the president of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, has said (Young, p. 360).

 

 A common parental goal is to train their children to be submissive and polite, as we learn from Brigham Young. However, that is not the ideal way to teach children, says President Young, who points out that most parents use physical punishment. When we show our children that we care for them verbally and physically, we are paving the route for them to reach their full potential as people.

David O. McKay, a former president, declared "An oath, a condemnatory term, an expression of rage, jealously, or animosity must never be said in a Latter-day Saint home. You've got things under control! Keep it to yourself!" According to (McKay, P. 229).

President McKay tells parents in this passage not to curse at their children, never condemn them verbally, and never display rage, resentment, or animosity toward them. What was the reasoning behind President McKay's advice? I've been wondering about this for a while now. I keep coming back to the idea that the home is supposed to be a place of love whenever I think about this subject. Therefore, there should be no contradicting messages in the home because it is supposed to be a place of love. 

That's a difficult question to answer. The house should be a place where one may freely express and experience one's feelings of love for one another. Parents who swear at their children, condemn them, or display feelings of envy or animosity toward their children may not be viewed favorably by their children. 

What kind of bewilderment might youngsters experience in a facility that is supposed to be a haven from the outside world? But unfortunately, the same thing happened to one of my closest friends in her house. Throughout her childhood, her parents were highly acrimonious toward one another due to their differences.

 Their children were affected by these feelings, not just their parents. My acquaintance began to believe that the Christian ideals of a loving and secure household had been shattered. She didn't imagine she could ever have a house like this, complete with a warm, caring family. She even longed for a divorce between her parents so that they could be content. It was long before my friend came to terms with the fact that a happy and safe home was attainable. 

Defining the Purpose of Nurturing

Nurturing can only occur when love is present, but in what ways can love be actively practiced? Emotional counseling is one of how we may nurture.

Emotion coaching is when parents tell their children that they understand and accept their feelings.

As an emotional coach, you assist children in learning how to manage their negative emotions, such as fear, rage, and sadness, by tuning into their thoughts and feelings. It has these essential elements, according to psychologist John Gottman:

Accepting and validating your children's feelings; helping your child describe and label their emotions with words; and (after a child has calmed down) talking with your child about practical strategies for dealing with situations that trigger complex emotions. Recognizing and naming your own and your child's feelings.

Assume, for example, that a youngster shows up unexpectedly at a pizza party. She craves a cheese pizza, but all the cheese pizza has already been consumed. If you don't have a pepperoni pizza, you'll have to make something else for your child. In response to the kid's distress, the adult offers support by listening, empathizing, and encouraging the youngster to express her feelings.

"It appears like you're upset about that," says the adult.

"Cheese pizza is all I want," says the youngster. "Pepperoni is off limits to me!"

Adult: "I get what you're trying to say. I've had that happen before... I was excited because I thought I would be able to indulge in some of my favorite foods, but they were all sold out. This left me feeling incredibly let down and irritated."

This makes me angry since other kids got to have cheese pizza while I'm still waiting for my turn. In my opinion, it's not fair!"

This is a really difficult feeling to have, when something goes wrong that isn't your own fault. Even if no one is to blame, it might still make you enraged. Appreciate the get-together. It wasn't supposed to happen. But it's still enough to enrage us."

This means that we may assist our children recognize exactly what they are feeling by listening attentively and empathizing with them. What we want to do here isn't tell children what they should think. As a substitute, we should ask questions, share our own experiences, and help your youngster understand his or her own feelings.

Citation

• McKay, David O. Teachings of the Presidents of the Church: David O. McKay. Salt Lake City: The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, 2003.
• Nurture. (n.d.). Retrieved from https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/nurture
• Young, Brigham. Journal of Discourses, 26 vols. Salt Lake City: Deseret Book Co., 1865.